Sunday, October 24, 2010

Signs of the times

When the New York United Way realized that it had never received a donation from one of Wall Street’s most successful lawyers, a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his posh Manhattan office.
 
The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, “Our research shows that even though your annual income is over ten million dollars, you don't give anything to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community through the United Way ?”
 
The lawyer replied, “First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?”

“Secondly,” he continued, ”'did it show that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children?”

“Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled and another that has learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?”

The United Way volunteer, completely beaten, replied, “I'm so sorry, I had no idea.”

And the lawyer says, “So . . . if I didn't give any  money to them, what makes you think I'd give any to you?”

14 comments:

  1. Funny, in a grim sort of way.

    Or is that called irony?

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  2. Lawyers...geez.
    I'm a big believer in charity. When my kids were little we were really struggling and so we needed help. When my grand daughter was going through a series of surgeries we had to stay at the Ronald McDonald house because the hospital was two hours away. So whenever I can chip in a little I do. I believe that every little bit counts and that it doesn't matter how much you give just so long as you do.

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  3. When did 'Rich Fucker' become a postive attribute?
    InQuiring minds want to know?

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  4. Andrew... ditto.

    Diane... I don't know what we would have done without Hospice when my father died of cancer. Statistics show that the average American is very generous with their charitable support, and to be fair, so are thousands of the wealthy through their foundations. But the nouveau-riche, forget it.

    Punch... 1981

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  5. My life at work is wrapped around charities. I'm so happy to find that at least in Sarasota, people are unbelievably generous with their money and their time. (Even if, for some, the glory is getting decked out and photographed at the charity galas that strangle every night of the season here.) Even for businesses that aren't so charitable, you almost have to align yourself with some nonprofit for people to recognize your operation as valid. It's great. Even if that charitable intention isn't originally there, I think it will be. You realize how many organizations are making a big difference for people, animals, places... Of course some will never be able to dream of a world that isn't all about themselves. I'd like to think they're a minority.

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  6. Mr. C… Thanks for the date, which has been elusive.
    Gropius…They are in the minority, but they control 98% of the wealth. (and don’t you forget it! Little girl!) It’s easy, just spend a buck on the pitiful, dip you head, (show the coiffure), toe the floor with your shoes, and all will be well.
    Just follow the money and all will be will. Be sure to wear Armani (or better).
    These fat daddies spend as much on animals as they do on humans. (Cause the Trophy has a four legged entourage, and they don’t get any of they don’t get any, well you get the picture.)
    Try that in China.
    Maslow was right.
    Don’t mean to make you think.

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  7. I'd rather use a hundred to light a blunt than give it to a United Way anything. Same with the Salvation (kiss my ass) Army and any other "charity" that pays their CEO more than the median wage of the area they work in.

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  8. Gropius... private business found out some time ago about the advantages of networking through non-profits. It's called enlightened self-interest.

    Pay no attention to Punch, he's been out in the sun too long.

    WM... I agree to a point. While there certainly are some egregious abuses, non profits do have to compete in the job market for capable management.

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  9. ...So Punch, do you think charities shouldn't take money for the greater good if it comes from corporations? We have some great companies in our community with leaders who spend an incredible amount of their time serving on boards and giving their financial resources to charitable causes. I work for a foundation, so you can save your "making me think" about charity for someone who knows...hmmm...maybe as much as you do about charitable giving.

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  10. Gropius…Great comeback. Actually I think charities should take money from anyone with the spare change to hand out. It is just that every time someone wants to run a self-serving show they use a tag like ‘some of the proceeds (read profits) will be given to (fill in the name of your charity cause here) and everybody gets a feel good about blowing money on tickets and wardrobe and showcars and showboats and such. (Hell, ShowGirls if your filthy rich) I believe in giving money away. Quietly so that the person that receives the help is not made to feel, as an object of pity. You know, just give it away, lagniappe.
    I met a ‘hobo’ once a long, long time ago. He was proud of being a ‘hobo’ not a bum. He taught me a philosophy of giving that took me a few years to figure out. He said ‘I don’t go to the Salvation Army or those kinds of soup kitchens. They are just pan-handling God. They show you a bowl of soup, move it aside, and then say ‘after the sermon, we’ll all get to eat.’ And then they preach about what a worm you are without their form of god. No, he said, I’d rather sweep someone’s parking lot for a dinner with dignity. I felt like I had seen the ChristLight for the first time.
    I did not mean that you are not thinking about what you are about. My apologies, bad choice of words on my part. Keep doing what you are doing. You seem to be one of the lights for the future.
    Mr. C…You have caused interest here, first in a long time. (chuckle) Well maybe not, but you got me writing.
    BTW...why do NON-profits have to compete with PROFITS, they are living off the fat of the land? I quit giving to the United Way for the same reason Walkin' Man did. Hang man, they are hooked up with the Chamber of Commerce and now trying to influence elections. A few years ago the Red Cross was humpin' Libby Dole for Prez. What's with that?
    Hey just my take, I could be wrong

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  11. Gropius…Great comeback. Actually I think charities should take money from anyone with the loose change to hand out. It is just that every time someone wants to run a self-serving show they use a tag like ‘some of the proceeds (read profits) will be given to (fill in the name of your charity cause here) and everybody gets a feel good about blowing money on tickets and wardrobe and showcars and showboats and such. (Hells, Belles, ShowGirls if your filthy rich) I believe in giving money away. Quietly so that the person that receives the help is not made to feel, as an object of pity. You know, just give it away, lagniappe.
    I met a ‘hobo’ once a long, long time ago. He was proud of being a ‘hobo’ not a bum. He taught me a philosophy of giving that took me a few years to figure out. He said ‘I don’t go to the Salvation Army or those kinds of soup kitchens. They are just pan-handling God. They show you a bowl of soup, move it aside, and then say ‘after the sermon, we’ll all get to eat.’ And then they preach about what a worm you are without their form of god. No, he said, I’d rather sweep someone’s parking lot for a dinner with dignity. I felt like I had met the ChristLight for the first time.
    I did not mean that you are not thinking about what you are about. My apologies, bad choice of words on my part. Keep doing what you are doing. You seem to be one of the lights for the future.
    Mr. C…You have caused interest here, first in a long time. (chuckle) Well maybe not, but you got me writing. I quit giving to the United Way for the walkin’ man’s reason. They are hooked up with the Chamber of Commerce and now attempting to influence elections. Hang man, a few years back the Red Cross was humpin’ Libby Dole for Prez. What's with that?
    Hey it’s just my take, I could be wrong.

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  12. It's all good Punch. I always enjoy your comments.

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