Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Worst Drivers On The Road

June is my birth month and while birthdays aren't any big deal with me, I was struck this year by a profound realization; it was fifty years ago this month that I was issued my first driver's license. A half-century of motoring.
Now I'm one of those American boys who loves cars. Couldn't wait for each new model year to roll around. Starstruck by shinny chrome. I'm still intrigued by new models although, now that they're designed in wind tunnels, they all pretty much look the same... like an egg. I guess an egg is the shape of least resistance.
Probably like most of you, most of my driving over the past fifty years has consisted of commuting to and from work. There are the memories of some pretty great motoring moments, like the time I raced a larger, more powerful Peugeot toe-to-toe in my little Fiat 500 Abarth over the hills-and-dales of eastern France. They never could pass me. I would pull away from them on the dips and curves only to get caught on the straights. This went on for over 100 miles. Great fun.
No, I'm sad to say that in retrospect, the majority of my seat time has been spent in commuter traffic. Blah!
However, it is those hundreds, if not thousands, of hours spent in the give and take of commuter traffic that qualifies me to make the following judgments: Who are the most rude, and the most courteous, drivers on the road?
1. The most rude drivers on the road... Black Women, of all ages. The ones least likely to let you in line, least likely to leave room so that someone can pull out of a service station and cross the road, most likely to blow their horns, most likely to speed up so you can't get in, most likely to be jabbering on a cell phone. In this "Age of Entitlement" they just flat don't give a damn about road manners or the overall good of the commuting community. They might be the nicest most giving people off the road, but on the road, give them plenty of room because you never know what to expect, but you can bet that it will have nothing to do with courtesy or give and take.
2. Next most rude drivers on the road... Young People of both sexes. Young people are always in a hurry. Most likely to cut you off, drive way too fast and race you to a parking space. I don't let them bother me too much though, because when I was young, I was the same way. Everything was a race and driving fast was fun.
3. Next most rude drivers on the road... White Women, of all ages. Oblivious. Wait until the last second to switch lanes to make a turn, not only cutting you off but making you slam on your brakes as well. All over the road while primping in the mirror or doing their nails or... texting on the frigging cell phone. I don't think they mean to be rude, they're just... oblivious.
4. Second most courteous drivers on the road... Latinos. They seem to just go with the flow. True, they've got their own flow, but everyone's welcome to join in. Don't know how it is in the rest of the country, but here in Baja Georgia most Latinos are the working poor. I guess they've got to many other problems to let traffic be one of them.
5. The most courteous drivers on the road... Good Ole Boys of all stripes. Need someone to let you in line, the redneck in the pickup will let you in most every time. See a broken down car on the side of the road, it'll be a good ole boy who stops to help. Ever see a good ole boy talking on the phone while driving? Not very often. White, black or brown, whatever other faults they may have, being rude in traffic ain't one of them.

24 comments:

  1. Although I do qualify as a white woman, and I tend to get distracted by conversation, lovely views and misc. shocking sights which causes me to occasionally drift into the other lane or run off the road entirely - I have never once primped in the mirror or texted while driving.
    Fooled around with the radio or CD player - absolutely. Texted or looked in the mirror while driving? Never. While sitting at a stop light? Maybe.
    And I have never once hit anything that was moving. Fire hydrants, water spickets, and free standing mail boxes? Absolutely. Moving Vehicles or animals? Never. Well - maybe a squirrel one night - but never a skunk or deer.

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  2. You forgot a sector of bastardous drivers- the white guy dildo in the BMW/Lexus/Benz who totally thinks they are in a moving office and feels they are too important to be courteous. Cut you off, won't let you in for shit and don't even give you the "sorry I'm a dick face" wave. One of the worst.

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  3. Pat... I can see you've never participated in the "points" system of driving. You know, where you get points for whatever it is you hit. You always get more points for hitting things that can run upon the realization that they're about to be run over. Inanimate objects like fire hydrants, etc. only good for 1 point each. But they all add up!

    Heidi... Yes, you're right. I should have grouped them into the Young People class.

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  4. In total disagreement with this post. You have this list absolutely ass backwards. Nothing else to say.

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    Replies
    1. hahaha... black women ARE THE WORST DRIVERS. PERIOD.

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    2. I agree with this. BLACK WOMEN ARE THE WORST DRIVERS. Because they're never wrong. Even when they just ran over a 5 year old on a tricycle and dragged him face down on the asphalt for 3 blocks. They'll bob their heads, and snap their fingers and make you feel like it was your fault that you let it happen.

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  5. Oh yeah, Happy Birthday old man. Thinking good thoughts regards your retest at the DMV. Everything tuned up? The glasses...the hearing apparatus the pace maker batteries. They take notice of those things you know.

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  6. Everything ass-backwards is exactly what I expect from you JJ. Thanks for the good thoughts.

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  7. I was just thinking today: you can tell so much about a person from how they drive. On the way home from work today, some ass laid on the horn because he was trying to get past me into a gas station parking lot (so he could go around the light). I couldn't go anywhere, naturally. Jerk. Nothing more important in life than himself. Gotta be careful, though, about mouthing anything in the car--even if to yourself. More people are carrying guns these days, especially with the recent ruling. Crazy world.

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  8. Well, my dear boy, I must say you are one more naturally born ego-centric sombitch. I’m sure you would include yourself in the Good Ole Boy category. See that is why in my eccentric view, I say such as the above.

    PENo…hitting a squirrel does not count. They will run from safety into harm’s way.
    Heidi…what is the difference between a porcupine and a BMW. With the Porcupine the pricks are on the outside.
    JadedJ…you’re closer to the truth that one might think.
    I concur with the Happy Birthday greetings. Many, Many more.

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  9. Gropius... if talking to yourself in traffic will get you shot... I'm dead!

    Punch... My bad, didn't mean to leave you out. Should have included a category for dottering old men who wander aimlessly. Sorry. Thanks for the good thoughts.

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  10. Punch, are you going to let him get away with that...a DOUBLE insult. First he blows you off, and then he bad mouths your culture, heritage and manliness. Oh sure, he throws in a pitiful thank yeeeeeew, sucker. Just pointing it out.

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  11. JJ... It's obvious that: 1. You're either trying to pick a fight, or 2: You've never seen Punch drive.

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  12. I calls em as I sees em. And the Punch happens to be one of the finer drivers on the planet...just ask him.

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  13. I can only offer my complete and absolute agreement with Mr. JadedJ.
    One of the planet's greatest thinkers. Yea verily, a blessing from the gods, for mortal men to look to as a model of creative and progressive thought.
    Indeed I am a fine driver, if I had followed my heart as a young man, I might be driving a vintage Ferrari at Goodwood this weekend.

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  14. When you boys are through holding hands in the shower you can come back to earth. You know, Earth, the place where they say, "If you're so smart,how come you ain't rich?"

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  15. No, Boys. The good ole boys are running 'round in circles at DIS.

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  16. I am reporting this entire incident to the Senior Citizens abuse hot line. I KNOW the number muther effer!

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  17. If there's one thing I'm certain of, it's that JJ know's all about senior issues. He can tell you all about Maxi-pads and Viagra.

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  18. In my neck o' the woods it's the punk brats who scream around in low-slung Hondas that leave sound booms of gruesome rap. They simply don't give a shit about *anything*.

    ... I'd be most interested to hear what JJ has to say about Maxi-pads! ;-D

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  19. Jaliya, I have not seen the movie, mainly because I just don't like Mel Gibson.

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  20. Most women these days are a Danger to society on the road since many of them speed and tailgate, and many of them do it on purpose since many women today on the road do have mental problems to begin with. They should have their License taken away from them since they're the Worst drivers of them all.

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