Tuesday, December 1, 2009

The Devil Made Me Do It

Most of us plod through life burdened by a mantel of guilt. Guilt of sins we have committed and guilt of things we have left undone. Oh, the weight of it all hangs so heavily upon our tired, aching shoulders.
But Wait! There is hope! In his never ceasing quest to lift the burdens of mankind and shine a light unto the darkness, Mr. Charleston has discovered something of great import to his long suffering blogospherian comrades.
It turns out that your proclivity for sin depends on where you live.
Recently, a team at Kansas State University served up a feast: maps of the 7 Deadly Sins created by plotting per-capita stats on things like theft (envy) and STDs (lust). Christian clergy, likely noting the Bible Belt's status as Wrath Central, question the "science" behind this study, but who are they, charlatans and pedophiles, to question the veracity of such a noble institution?
Below, color coded for your convenience, are the areas of the country infested by a particular sin. If you live in one of these areas, you may well consider moving. Moving either to an area less infected by that particular sin, or moving to an area with a concentration of sin more to your liking. Either way, you can rest, assured of the fact that responsibility for you sins, weakling though you may be, does not fall entirely on your shoulders.
Average income compared with number of people living below the poverty line.
Total thefts (robbery, burglary, larceny, and grand theft auto) per capita.
Number of violent crimes (murder, assault, and rape) per capita.
Expenditures on art, entertainment, and recreation compared with employment.
Number of fast-food restaurants per capita.
Number of STD cases reported per capita.
Aggregate of the other six offenses—because pride is the root of all sin.
So there you have it fellow travelers. Do with it what you will.


  1. I kinda figured that New Yorkers were some greedy-ass devils.....'n now I've got proof positive!

    But I wonder about the time frame of these "sinful acts".....were these stats taken from last year? Five years ago? Twenty? Thirty? Cuz if it WAS 30 yrs. ago, then CT & NY woulda been THE devilish leaders in the Envy, Wrath 'n Lust departments....cuz that's when MY wild ass was out on the loose! ;-)

  2. DonnaJean, there are some serious shades of grey in those areas as regards Envy, Wrath and Lust so you might have made a bigger impact than you realize. And in the Pride area, a combination of all the sins, your area is purple off the charts. So you can stand proud or, you can take words of wisdom from Rev. LeRoy and dig deep into your heart.

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  4. JJ, this is my hobby. I see that your area is pretty heavy in the Greed and Lust categories. I'm sure it has nothing to do with you.

  5. Florida looks like a dick
    with Greed,
    no wonder it is
    a Republican state.

  6. My area is very purple, considering that encompasses all the other sins: No. 1 Baby.

  7. I don't know that I'm comfortable living that close to wrath.


  8. whoever said devilish was a bad thang, Mr. C? heck I live a bunch of gluttonous saints (laffing) here in north eastern Kentucky! a little sin would do me good and keep the fat off! LOL

    I'm still laffing! Now...let me plan where I want to move to...hmmmmm...plenty to choose from! LOL

  9. I loved Flip! and so did my dad, he never missed Sanford and Son. Thanks for the laughs, Mr. C!

  10. My area is heavy with wrath but light on STD's. I guess that means we're like "Yeah we'll kill you, but we won't give you aids."

  11. Punch... You got it baby!
    Holte... I'm afraid you and me got the same disease.
    Joshua... The solution is simple, just move to the area with the sin you like most.
    Bella... There appears to be no hope. You'll have to move.
    Tex... Can you get AIDS from a bullet? Maybe if it's used? Thanks for stopping by. Please don't be a stranger.

  12. So how long did it take you to draw up those maps huh?!

  13. It's a shame I'm no longer single - because you have made it very easy to pinpoint exactly where the anorexic, sex-crazed rich ladies are more likely to be dwelling.

    Why does this useful information never come in time?!

  14. now if you could just give us these same maps for australia......

  15. Mo... We'll talk privately. I have some business opportunities in some of the areas you may be interested in.
    Matthew... has that ever stopped you in the past? No, don't answer that. My bad. You must take a positive slant on this... now you know what areas of the country to avoid. From the looks of it, I would say Disney World is out of the question.

  16. Kylie... I was going to suggest that very thing to Matthew. Since you two appear to have a common interest in such things, suggest the two of you form an alliance for "Freedom of Information" on the subject down under. However, I must caution you, from the timbre of Matthew's reply, you had better keep your pick-up line repellent handy.

  17. At least i know the devils of the details where i live so there were few surprises locally but I think Utah needs be re-evaluated under different criteria.

  18. uh, yes.....
    matthew wouldnt try a pick up line on me. i'm not anorexic :)

  19. Mark... As you can see, Utah is a hotbed of greed. Isn't that what you expected?

  20. Kylie... So, since you are not anorexic, is one to assume that you are sex-crazed and rich? Ummmm. Need a blog partner?

  21. For once I’ll avoid the temptation to go for a humorous reply and say that, since I first started blogging six years ago (and thereby started to learn of the behaviour of the peoples of exotic lands) I was taken aback to see the strong correlation between anger/hate and Christians in the US.

    And no, I’m not joking.

  22. what an amazing study over at KSU. Grant-funded research team no doubt, wonder who might have supplied the funding? Who might possibly use this information? A political action committee?

  23. and to think I would have wagered that the South had far more gluttony...

    at least they have their wrath and lust.

  24. My mitten is full of sin! DAMMIT.

    Matthew....well. I'm not anorexic, nor rich, nor...
    I'm not anorexic.

  25. Simon... By inference, are you saying these traits don't apply to Christians everywhere? Over here, right-wing Christians are by far the greatest threat to peace and harmony.

    Dianne... Aren't you the machiavellian one. Good question. On these charts, Eastern Kentucky (Bella's neck of the woods) is downright saintly and I find that hard to believe, unless they're selling whiskey or bibles.

    JennyMac... I found that curious as well. I would have thought KFC and Krystal would have put us over the top.

    JenJen... Wash that mitten girl. As the Rev. LeRoy, of the Church of What's Happenin' Now, so succinctly put it... The Devil Made Me Do It!

  26. I'm surprised by the lack of gluttony in Atlanta as well. Have you walked around a McDonald's or Walmart here lately?

  27. So pretty much everyone in this country is evil in some way. Comforting stuff.

  28. Mr Charleston: i noticed that 4 of the 7 deadly: greed, wrath envy, and pride are pretty high on the percentage scale in certain areas of ca (where i live - when i'm away from my home state - the state of confusion)

    This would make sense since those very sins are the ones emulated by the spoiled lazy and rich fatcats and their evil brethern the lying spindoctor politicians, who reside among us and make our lives hell with their double standards and selfishness.

    The 3 sins which AREN'T as prevalent in those certain CA areas are sloth, gluttony and lust. This too is logical becuz the people picking up the pace of the aforementioned often work 3 jobs to survive, never have enough to eat and are definiatley too tired to screw when they finally get home at night. Good job on doing your homework!

  29. Peach... Same thing JennyMac observed. These KSU folks obviously don't play Tech or they would have been introduced to The Varsity and seen the error in their figures.
    Heidi... I believe that's the same thing folks like Jerry Falwell have been saying for years.
    Todd and Lisa... Thanks for stopping by, always great to meet new friends. And thank you for your insightful clarification of the California numbers. Perhaps this thing should become a Wiki and we could fill in all of the blank spaces. However, so much to do, so little time...

  30. Mr. C - I am also Todd and Lisa (This is SG46) I couldn't get my wordpress profile to work on your comment section for some reason yesterday (or today it turns out)...I like the Wiki idea....


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