Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Proof that Vampires Exist, redux
Every now and then I check the stats on the blog to see who's tuning in. Without fail, a consistent most popular post is this one. It was first published in Oct. 2009 and it still gets 40-60 hits a week.
I'm reposting it for your enjoyment but particularly for the comments. Scroll to the bottom of the comments and take a look and the nuts who populate zombieland. You can't make this shit up.
Throughout the ages, the myth of Vampires, the undead who “live” from the blood of the living, has persisted in all known cultures even into the 21st Century. Finally, we have photographic proof that Vampires really do exist. But first, a little clarification.
The Florida Times Union has done a valuable comparison of Vampires, then and now, and I would like to share this with you as it could save your life because, these ain’t your grandma’s vampires.
VAMPIRES THEN AND NOW (SIMILARITIES) Then: Vampires were things of fear and disgust. They could shape-shift to gain access to their prey. Sunlight was painful, debilitating and resulted in death if exposed long enough. Their goal was simply survival. Now: Vampires possess unearthly physical beauty. Shape-shifting may be alluded to but isn’t common. Sunlight causes pain but can be endured as they now try to blend into human civilization. Both possess more than human strength and speed and appear to have telepathic abilities. They, for all their strengths, remain vulnerable to humans.
MODERN VAMPIRES BREAK THE RULES We’ve been told countless times ways to identify and possibly even kill a vampire, but those “rules” don’t hold true anymore. Vampires are not supposed to cast shadows in mirrors. Holy symbols such as crosses, crucifixes and holy water would debilitate a vampire. Garlic was a cure-all and was believed to repel all types of evil. Above all, a wooden stake through the heart, decapitation and burning were guaranteed ways to kill a vampire.
Here are a few ways these rules have been broken: Modern vampires do not sleep in coffins. According to some experts, they don’t sleep at all. Sunlight? They avoid it. Not because it will kill them, but rather, because their skin sparkles like diamonds in the sunlight and would draw too much attention. Modern vampires cast shadows in mirrors. Another interesting feature is they cry tears of blood. Garlic sometimes works as a deterrent, but you must be cautious how you use it. Polish immigrant to the UK, Demetrious Myicura, was found dead in 1973. His room was covered in ceremoniously placed garlic. Said to have been terrified of a vampire attack, he choked to death on a clove of garlic he had placed in his mouth to protect him while he slept.
There is only one sure way to destroy them, break out your 9mm Glock and immediately waste them with copper-clad, hollow-point bullets, which have proven to be most effective against these types. OK, as promised, photographic proof of Vampires.