It was shaping up to be just another weekend when the phone rang. An old friend who lives down in God's Great Waiting Room, aka South Florida, was on the line. The conversation went something like this, "Hey man. Junior has put together a deal on a Dodge Viper and he wants me to deliver it up to Brunswick, Ga. to be shipped to Germany. You gonna be home? I was thinking I might stop by and we can take this thing for a spin around the block. Does that sound OK with you?"
My carefully considered answer was something like this, "HELL YES I'M GONNA BE HOME!"
It seems B's son, B jr., is an accomplished Internet trader and had crafted the deal while on vacation in the waiting room area. B jr had come upon a Viper for sale and, knowing the European fondness for such toys, quickly found a buyer for it in Germany and the deal was sealed.
For those of you who don't know what a Dodge Viper is...
When you get in, the first thing you notice is how hard it is to actually get in the thing. You literally worm your way into full-on racing seats that grab you like a hand. You're sitting really low, the gear shift at shoulder height. The roof is low and visibility very limited, especially out of the back.
Then, you turn on the key and press the ignition button. The 610hp, V10 comes to life with a rumble that makes your willy tingle. The seats are hard, the cabin cramped, the ride jars your teeth. But when you put your foot in it, all that stuff goes away. This thing will leap to 60mph in 4 seconds in 1st gear! You don't dare put your foot all the way into it because you know the rear end will most certainly come loose, even though it sits on 14 inch wide semi-slicks.
Driving around town I would occasionally jump from 30mph or so to 90mph or so and never got it out of 3rd gear. It wasn't the least bit dangerous because it got there and back so quickly that no one was any the wiser. Out on the road, B kicked it up to 100 or so and it was still pulling like you couldn't hold it back. Again, in 3rd gear, with 2 more gears to go. No telling what the top end is.
It would stop as fast as it ran and it was never close to losing grip. But as phenomenal as it was as a performance machine, there was something else about it that was even better. Everywhere we went, and I mean everywhere, people gawked and stared. I have never before had so many girls give me the eye or guys look at me with such envy.
Yeah buddy. It was some kinda Fun!
Then we got to the port, dropped it off, and came back to reality in our rental Kia econo-box. But I'm still grinning.
But did you get to wear one of those great racing suits...which protects you from fire...in case it burst into flames if this "B" person lost control?
Finally, and you are not going to believe me, but as I was reading this, before I got to the conclusion, I thought, I'll invite him out here on the plain plains to take a spin in my hot Kia V-6 Mini-van, over to Omaha, out on I-80 (the drug funnel of the midwest). But alas, it is not to be...as you are a lucky man to have experienced every man's dream before you die...twice.
hey Mr. C...did you over rev it like the guy in the video who was wouldn't shift and power into the corners? Listen to the injectors cutting out. Ha ha ha ha That Viper was meant to power through the curves, that's why it has the low wide foot print.. Honestly though I prefer the old Porsche 928's for willy tingling.
JJ... Didn't have my racing suit but did have my racing goggles. Could be that's why I got so many stares. As to the Kia... yeah man! There ain't nothing more fun than a Kia box doing 80 on the interstate picking up a side blast from a big truck.
Liar... Yes... muscle. They say that's why women like horses so much. Muscle between their legs without a man's face on it. Of course, I can't speak to that personally.
Mo... That V10 sound is sensory overload all by itself.
WM... Never even got it close to the rev limiter like the guy in the video. The thing has so much torque there was no way you could on public roads without totally winding it up in 1st or 2nd, which didn't seem the right thing to do. Know what you mean about the 928 but my experience with their V8s wasn't nearly as visceral as the Viper's 8.4litre, 610hp V10. Not even a Z06 Vette or my brother-in-law's 396 Cobra produced more willy tingle.
Matt... Sorry, didn't mean to overlook you, still working on my first cup of coffee. By all means, add it to the list. A ruff, gruff high-performance, soon-to-be-extinct monster with more punch for the price, about $90,000 new, than just about anything I can think of.
I had a friend who is a doctor that had a Viper (before he had kids and his wife made him sell it). I got to ride in it a couple of times and you are right about the attention you get.
When you get in, the first thing you notice is how hard it is to actually get in the thing. You literally worm your way into full-on racing seats that grab you like a hand. You're sitting really low, the gear shift at shoulder height. The roof is low and visibility very limited, especially out of the back.
Then, you turn on the key and press the ignition button. The 610hp, V10 comes to life with a rumble that makes your willy tingle. The seats are hard, the cabin cramped, the ride jars your teeth. But when you put your foot in it, all that stuff goes away. This thing will leap to 60mph in 4 seconds in 1st gear! You don't dare put your foot all the way into it because you know the rear end will most certainly come loose, even though it sits on 14 inch wide semi-slicks.
Driving around town I would occasionally jump from 30mph or so to 90mph or so and never got it out of 3rd gear. It wasn't the least bit dangerous because it got there and back so quickly that no one was any the wiser. Out on the road, B kicked it up to 100 or so and it was still pulling like you couldn't hold it back. Again, in 3rd gear, with 2 more gears to go. No telling what the top end is.
It would stop as fast as it ran and it was never close to losing grip. But as phenomenal as it was as a performance machine, there was something else about it that was even better. Everywhere we went, and I mean everywhere, people gawked and stared. I have never before had so many girls give me the eye or guys look at me with such envy.
Yeah buddy. It was some kinda Fun!
Then we got to the port, dropped it off, and came back to reality in our rental Kia econo-box. But I'm still grinning.
He actually let you drive it? Dumb ass.
ReplyDeleteBut did you get to wear one of those great racing suits...which protects you from fire...in case it burst into flames if this "B" person lost control?
Finally, and you are not going to believe me, but as I was reading this, before I got to the conclusion, I thought, I'll invite him out here on the plain plains to take a spin in my hot Kia V-6 Mini-van, over to Omaha, out on I-80 (the drug funnel of the midwest). But alas, it is not to be...as you are a lucky man to have experienced every man's dream before you die...twice.
Oh, I love a good muscle car story. I love a good muscle car. Actually, I love me some good muscles. Um . . . oh yeah, I love that car!
ReplyDeleteMan I used to love racing Vipers in games. I hope you didn't end up shooting up your drive at 90mph!
ReplyDeletehey Mr. C...did you over rev it like the guy in the video who was wouldn't shift and power into the corners? Listen to the injectors cutting out. Ha ha ha ha That Viper was meant to power through the curves, that's why it has the low wide foot print.. Honestly though I prefer the old Porsche 928's for willy tingling.
ReplyDeleteI know zippo about cars, but I know what kind of cars I like - and that's a new one to add to my list.
ReplyDeleteJJ... Didn't have my racing suit but did have my racing goggles. Could be that's why I got so many stares. As to the Kia... yeah man! There ain't nothing more fun than a Kia box doing 80 on the interstate picking up a side blast from a big truck.
ReplyDeleteLiar... Yes... muscle. They say that's why women like horses so much. Muscle between their legs without a man's face on it. Of course, I can't speak to that personally.
Mo... That V10 sound is sensory overload all by itself.
WM... Never even got it close to the rev limiter like the guy in the video. The thing has so much torque there was no way you could on public roads without totally winding it up in 1st or 2nd, which didn't seem the right thing to do. Know what you mean about the 928 but my experience with their V8s wasn't nearly as visceral as the Viper's 8.4litre, 610hp V10. Not even a Z06 Vette or my brother-in-law's 396 Cobra produced more willy tingle.
Matt... Sorry, didn't mean to overlook you, still working on my first cup of coffee. By all means, add it to the list. A ruff, gruff high-performance, soon-to-be-extinct monster with more punch for the price, about $90,000 new, than just about anything I can think of.
ReplyDeleteI had a friend who is a doctor that had a Viper (before he had kids and his wife made him sell it). I got to ride in it a couple of times and you are right about the attention you get.
ReplyDeleteOne more cool ride. walking M is right about the cornering. wants to sit right on the road and turn.
ReplyDelete