Wednesday, September 16, 2009

7 Most Inappropriate Children's Toys

I ran across these on the Huffington Post this morning and decided to share them. No doubt, of all the Great Satans out there, money remains the worldwide king.
I think I'll give one of these to my granddaughters. I want to be sure they can always get a job.

Spanish toymaker Berjuan released a doll that allows children to "breast-feed" their babies. A girl wears a special halter top with flowers instead of nipples that cause the baby to make sucking sounds and move its mouth. The tagline for the toy reads, "Because you shouldn't have to wait until you have breasts before you start breastfeeding your baby."

This one is so grotesque I don't even know where to start.

"My child has herpes!" If that's something you'd like to yell without your child actually being infected with a venereal disease then these plushies are for you...you weirdo.

Another one of those job security things.

Finally! Baby stilettos have hit the market to give those unsightly flab-filled baby calves some lift. They will be useful for the girls who loved the pole-dancing doll and moved on to this.

The GR8 TaT2 Maker by Spin Master Toys promises an "easy-to-use tattoo maker kit...[that] creates realistic, washable designs with dramatic effects." If only there was a plushy for Hepatitis.

19 comments:

  1. Jesus. And I've been having problems with the children's clothing industry, dressing little girls like street walkers. This is just sick.

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  2. These are SO WRONG! Each one, worse than the next. UGH.

    The pole dance doll? Are you F(*&)&! kidding?

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  3. WTF!!! Herpes! A toy! This is sick. I guess the good part about it is that some people will never outgrow the toy--oooh, my bad.

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  4. By the way, I just commented on your comment on Punch's blog. I have been slow to come arouond as work has been eating my brain and devouring my emotional equilibrium.

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  5. JJ... Tell it brother. Like that little beauty queen girl who was killed up in Colorado. When I saw her photos the first thing that went through my mind was that the parents did it as they are so obviously sick.

    EOR... Ooooooh, that was bad.

    JennyMac... ditto

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  6. OMyGosh and some think Barbie dolls are bad! These are just downright scary! esp. the shaving doll and the breast feed your baby?! it's sick...

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  7. by the way, I love the way you can change your background image, that is awesome! I wanta know that trick...

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  8. Creeped me out too Peach. That's why I decided to post them. I had a whole other post worked out when I ran across them. Sometimes you just have to go with your gut.

    Bella... The photo is no big trick. I developed a PhotoShop template that allows me to insert any photo behind the window. Save it as a jpg in PhotoShop, upload and save as header on the blog.

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  9. Where would a person buy such toys. At Wal-Mart, Toys-r-us or XTC novelty shops.
    BTW are any made in China?

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  10. I'd say, judging from the writing on the box, that the shave the hairy gargoyle doll is probably Chinese, although the Japanese have a penchant for this type thing as well.
    No idea where to buy one but I'm pretty certain you won't find them at WalMart.

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  11. Just when you thought you had seen everything that people will do for a profit...

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  12. "I think I'll give one of these to my granddaughters. I want to be sure they can always get a job." -- Your motives are not without precedent. A woman here in god-fearing northeast tennysee opened a titty bar (can I say that here?) so that her daughters would have work. She dreamed that the lord told her that was the thing to do.

    I am not lying.

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  13. Intelli... lol. Hopefully, they have nice titties.

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  14. like i always say, it's the parents' job to screw around with their kids' heads.

    all of these are beyond belief.

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  15. Rebecca... Thanks for stopping by. Agreed. Parents should be shot.

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  16. Never buy a toy like this to a girl or boy that I want, since they´re not suitable for these ages, there to teach beginning and end children but let them be children.

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  17. The "herpes" plushies, as well as a multitude of others, are part of the Giant Microbe collection and while I wouldn't give "herpes" to a child, some others like "black plague", "flea", "ringworm" or "chicken pox" are perfectly fine. They give the child an up close look at what real microbes look like. They're science toys and they're AWESOME!
    As far as the breast feeding doll goes, my step daughter breast fed her baby dolls when she was young, this is just taking it a step further. Believe it or not, they actually promoted and explained breast feeding on Sesame Street, you know, before everybody decided breast feeding was inappropriate and a need to RIDICULOUSLY bubble wrap children took over.

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