Thursday, June 25, 2009

Don't eat meat and I'll fuck you like a rabbit

Having failed in their first attempt to reach the godless carnivores that lurk about these web pages, PETA has taken a different tact. As my grandma always said, "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar." I never quite understood that last part, but the gist is clear. Fluffy little bunnies seem far more attractive than hard-tit, I mean, hard-tip bullets. When asked doesn't this seem a little extreme a PETA spokesperson responded, "You have to understand what we're up against. There are people out there... I mean, there are vile vermin in this world who hate buttercups!" "Can you imagine," she continued. "How could anyone hate a buttercup? Yet just the other day I saw the crotchety old man who lives across the street from me spraying their beautiful uplifted little faces with Roundup!" The world is a cruel place indeed.


  1. Buttercups, hell I yanked one out of my beautiful mimosa cover just the other day. I did photograph it for the record. The yellow flower just did not go with the pink bloom of the mimosa. Bees love it. Very rude of that plant.
    BTW, these ads make me want to eat something bad. That grammer structure is all wrong. I mean eat something bad, badly. No I mean eat her something badly, yeah that's the ticket!

  2. Buns? WTF. That's what one puts weenies in...a red meat thingy. That must be what Punch was referring to.

    BTW---I saw Buttercup in the Roy Rogers Museum...had glass eyes though.

    Oh, as regards the PETA ad above...really got through to me...I'm going to go gather all my meat in the freezer and throw it out. Very effective ad.

    Also oh. I take umbrage to the "godless carnivores" phrase...I have never been been on a Carnival Ship...and never will.

  3. Ha ha! Those PETA folks are more cleaver, I mean, more clever than anyone gave them credit for. They've figured out that any man, even, so it seems, Meat Eaters For Jesus, can be lead around by their Willies (except for brother Punch who seems to have gone off on a tangent. You would think he was the crotchety old coot referred to in above news release?).

    Less meat, less methane gas, cleaner air, healthier, happier society, and a good swiving to boot, or is that boot swiving? Anyway, a win-win situation if I ever saw one.

    Life is beautiful!

  4. Ha ha ha to you.

    I vow to eat more meat for christ.

  5. Soon to be dickless JJ. He'll fuck you up. No doubt about it. Just ask brother Punch


    I think if someone were to use their tongue in her cheeks the right way she could be convinced to eat a porterhouse.


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