Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Only believe half of what you see... but which half?

Reported in the Huffpost this morning:

"She may look every bit the part of a beauty queen, but Jenna Talackova has lost her chance for the crown because she was born a biological male.

The 23-year-old Miss Universe Canada finalist was disqualified from the competition after it was discovered she had undergone sexual reassignment surgery, reports CTV."

Jeepers, creepers!  What the hell is going on around here?  This kind of stuff makes it easy to understand regressive politicians and why they want to return to the "good old days."   But, you know, I got to thinking about that and was reminded of a story from my past.

I was a recruit in Uncle Sam's Air Force and stationed at Ramstein, AFB, West Germany.  Upon the occasion of my birthday, which coincidentally came around shortly after assuming my post at the air base, the old Sarge and a couple of senior airmen decided to take me out and introduce me to the town, or rather, to every G.I. bar in the town.  It was their avowed goal to get me "screwed, blewed, and tattooed."

It seemed like we were well on the path to any or all of the above when an incident happened I will never forget.

After about the third of fourth bar and who knows how many beers, we landed in a place where absinth was the drink de jour.  Let me tell you something, after a couple of those babies the whole world takes on a different shade of pale and the girl who delivered them to me was definitely close kin to Venus di Milo.  For some reason (probably cash from my "buddies") she took a real interest in me and demonstrated same by favoring me with an infamous lap dance.

Things were progressing pretty much as you would expect from a young, horny G.I. and a bar whore when suddenly my exploratory hands discovered something in a region of her anatomy totally unexpected.  No transgender here, the real freakin' McCoy!

I let out a yell, sprang to my feet, sending the "girl" sprawling across the floor, and fled the scene.  I could hear my buddies laughing from out in the street.  I guess from their perspective it was a howl.  From my perspective, lesson learned in only believe half of what you see.

As Hoke said to Miss Daisey.... "Things ain't changed all that much."

17 comments:

  1. *shrug* She's a bit skinny in legs and not enough hip for me.

    So you were introduced to the best of Germany eh...Absinthe. Are you certain of what you felt or was it just the high content of wormwood in the booze causing you to hallucinate?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Absinthe is one of the things I have missed and will probably never know. Ah well. Back to the topic at hand, (sorry) what you see is seldom what you get. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Now kids, what did we learn here then? Avoid absinth like nothing else I think.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Let me make one thing perfectly clear boys and girls, (to quote Bill Clinton), I never had sex with... strike that. I've had some considerable experience with mind altering influences and I can tell you I have never, I repeat, NEVER confused those two accoutrements.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Well, at least the experience left you with a funny story to tell. I wonder if the other guys knew the truth beforehand. Since you were the newbie, I'm guessing they probably did, and were just amusing themselves at your expense. Ever been to New Orleans? The cross dressers, or transgenders, whatever they are, working in some of the clubs on Bourbon Street are drop-dead gorgeous. I mean, they could win just about any beauty crown, given the opportunity. Maybe someone that beautiful SHOULD have been born a female. (Now, now ... not saying that a man can't be "beautiful"...)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dang, thanks Susan. Now I know why Punch goes down there every year.

      Delete
  6. Well, you know, gender isn't as cut and dried as some people would prefer it to be. There's the gender of the body and the gender of the mind and then there's the body that can't make up it's mind what gender it wants to be.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Too confusing for me. I'm an old dog and can't handle new tricks.

      Delete
  7. I heard lots of variations on that same story when I was in the Navy.

    And now, for some odd reason, "I heard it through the grapevine" is running through my head. By Gladys Knight and the Pips, of course -- the original and best version of that song. IMHO.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Heard it through the grapevine... Smokey and the Miracles is my favorite. Great song no matter.

      Delete
  8. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha At least you didn't go crazy and cut the hand off that touched the not desired accoutrement.

    ReplyDelete
  9. So that's what GIs got up to in Germany.

    I only ever believe what I see, that is, all of it.

    ReplyDelete
  10. My brother once almost left a bar with a drop-dead gorgeous woman. Only she wasn't a woman. She was a man. My sister, at the same bar, had to pull him aside. He refused to believe it -- and then believed it!

    Pearl

    ReplyDelete
  11. regardless of your .... distress, you would likely still fight for any person's rights for selfhood, however that was expressed. it doesn't mean you have to embrace the person....

    good story

    ReplyDelete

Sorry about the comment thingy folks. Too much spam.