Monday, November 22, 2010

Things could be worse

Things are really bad right now.  The Great Recession keeps grinding away with no end in sight.  For me, things are so bad that the other day I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

The other night I was so depressed thinking about all of the bills, the economy, wars, no job, the bleak future, that I called the Suicide Hotline and got connected to a call center in Pakistan.  When I told them I wanted to kill myself, they got all excited and wanted to know if I could drive a truck.

Things are so bad Dick Cheney took his stock broker hunting.

Just last week Exxon-Mobile laid off 25 congressmen and the mafia is laying off judges.

It's reached the point to where a truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.  And Motel 6 won't leave the light on anymore.

Oh well...

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  We really should count our blessings.

After all, in  the words of Woody Allen, "The world is divided between the horrible and the miserable.  Be thankful you're miserable."


  1. Is anyone else not even qualified to be unemployed?

  2. Nice ones, including yours Bret! Do you have any Yo Mama jokes?

  3. Yes count our blessings...we still have Bach.

  4. Ginx... What?!

    Gropie... Yo mama's so fat when her beeper goes off people think she's backing up.

    WM... yes indeed.

  5. I know they do Susan. But it doesn't help to worry about it and, as Art Linkletter used to say, laughter is the best medicine.

  6. love Woody Allen! Happy Thanksgiving, Mr. C!

  7. I thought Art Linkletter said, "politicians say the darnedest things."

  8. Good ones, Mr. C

    No jokes at HQ today. Velvet's buddies from Hookah House will be arriving this evening for fun and games in NYC. Katie bar the door ...

  9. jadedj...actually ArtBoy said "politicians say the goddamnedest fucking things I have ever heard.

  10. Excellent YM joke. Yo mama's so old she owes Jesus five dollars. Yo mama's glasses are so thick she can see into the future. (I heard these pre-my-14-year-old's-yo-mama-phase.)


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