Thursday, November 12, 2009

Hugh Hefner Fucked Us Up redux

Intelliwench posed the question on her blog of why someone who very much wanted to meet her, has totally disappeared after the first date, which she thought went pretty well. Her readers speculated on several possible reasons; maybe there was a family emergency and he just hasn't had time to contact you; the guy's a cad, forget him, etc. I speculated that he had probably met someone else who put out on the first date, and that he was simply holding her on the back burner. People like that fancy themselves to be great lovers or "God's gift to women." It brought to mind one of my first posts, which I am re-posting, as it seems timely. Hugh Hefner Fucked Us Up This blog will endeavor to explore Sins of the flesh and soul as well as Non-sins, or the omission of sin, which in itself can still be sinful. An example of Non-sins would be reality television, something that isn't a sin in the vernacular but is certainly a sinful waste of time and space. I was trapped into watching part of some sort of a celebrity survival thing the other night that was the most shameless piece of shit I’ve ever seen on television. Worse than Judge Judy.

However today, I'm going to discuss something truly sinful. Or rather, someone, Hugh Hefner.

Somehow, in some perverted way, Hugh Hefner has made all men believe that they have to be great, not just good, but great lovers. Somehow, he persuaded us to believe that the reason we were put on earth was to bring women pleasure. And not just one, but several. The more the better. The Playboy image: suave, debonair, smoking jacket, pipe and martini was the way to go boy. You ain't nothing if you ain't that.

I know men well into their 60’s who still cling to the hallucination that some young chick simply can’t resist their suave persona. Or how about guys in their Hummers and pickups who hang balls from their trailer hitch. Redneck Hefner-ites.

To make matters worse, women too have bought into this crap. The average American woman expects, and even demands, that her male partner be devoted to her every need and whim. Add the phony baloney Hollywood image of the perfect American family (re: June Cleaver) to the mix and it’s easy to see why we Americans have the worst relationships and highest divorce rate on earth.

Anyone who’s spent any time at all in another culture knows what I’m talking about. In Europe, when you meet a woman you know right away where you stand. None of the coy games Americans seem so fond of. None of spending your life trying to make your partner fit into the Hollywood mold. None of, believing a man has to be a sexual Olympian or a woman a sensual love goddess every time they hit the sack.

I’m not saying that many people don’t find and enjoy mature, rational relationships. But I am complaining about the ration of shit we have to go through to get there. All because of totally unrealistic expectations of what "true love" is, what "cool" is, what "sexy" is, as fostered on us by Mr. Hefner.

How generations of us let our sexuality be influenced by this pathetic shyster is a mystery to me. But then, so is Judge Judy.


  1. You know what though, Mr. C? HE said "no sex on the first date." Maybe I was supposed to take that as a challenge? (I confess to being tempted to text him when I know he'll be in church, letting him know what he's missing by dissing me.)

    I'll tell your male readers right off, the reason you guys were put on earth was to change our tires...anything else is just icing on the cake.

  2. Oh my.
    Well we do have to crawl through hoops to get to a good place in our relationships.
    Both sexes.
    I'm too distracted to type.

  3. Mr. C, according to her comment up there (intelliwench) she said that he said 'no sex on the first date'? I'd say she's better off letting him slide off with the soap scum! and I betcha he has performance anxiety!

  4. Intelli...I pay guys to change my tires.
    I would pay triple to have a topless
    chic do the trick.
    (oh come on now, the tires,

    Bella...nothin worse that someone expecting something, that you don't even know about and then trashin' you 'cause you don't or didn't or what ever.

    Mr Chuck... Paragraph five (5)
    skip the one liner.

    Somehow, in some perverted way, Hugh Hefner has made all men believe...

    Jesus> you (no pun) make him sound like the Massiah. (sp)

    No wonder women are fuck up.
    Guys like you givein' the freeloader credit

    for all

    FUCKIN' all men???
    And what they do??!!!!

    come on
    come on
    come on
    hey that is just my OpiniOn.
    I could be wrong.

  5. Hefner is a weird sort of perv, everybody has their thing, his was being stuck on 20-somethings permanently, and building an empire around it, and a hollow empire at that. He will never know the joy and simple pleasures of having a relationship with a mature woman.

  6. I'll confess to watching those original episodes of "The Girls Next Door." It's like watchign a train wreck that you know is going to happen. And the only reason I could get away with it? In a shocking tangent from her normal ways, my wife was actually a bigger fan of the show than I was; which just gave me leave to watch it with her. It was a little wierd. Just saying


  7. Money, Hef made the money which gave him position to place his potion of authenticity on the up and coming. He very well is one of the purveyors of "greed is good" because it get's you laid.

    Messiah dude...turn your spell check on. a little foreplay might do it.

  8. Intelli... lol. He goes to church? He might be Mr. Right afterall! As to the tire thing, dang, we men may soon have no use at all as run-flat tires catch on.
    JenJen... Sorry, didn't mean to upset you that much. Bella... I'm with you.

  9. May I introduce my guest blogger, Punch. Who, I have on good authority, hordes Playboy magazine and has hair on his palms since childhood. But we love him anyway, as long as he keeps his distance.
    Holte... ditto. Joshua... that could be compared to NASCAR, waiting for the big one. WM... good insight. No doubt a heavy influence in the "look" of sophistication at the time as reflected in the James Bond films, etc.

  10. I think that it's possible (maybe) that Hugh was just a lucky entrepreneur who then bought into the altered-version-of-reality lifestyle as a consequence of his success. Perhaps, in some very peculiar way, he was a marketing genius. Who really knows? But seriously, mature humans have the ability to navigate relationships on their own. I tend to think that our own fears do us more harm on the relationship front than false expectations. Who among us hasn't contributed to the shut-down of an emerging relationship as the result of our own fear - fear of rejection, fear of not being enough, fear of commitment, fear of surrendering, fear of love....the list goes on infinitely. Thanks Mr. C. for another thought provoking morning! -Diane

  11. I think the bigger sin he wrought on the world was the pressure the Playboy image puts on young girls to be stick thin with ballooned boobs. Ask nearly any American girl-- they'll tell you they're fat, flat-chested, and ugly.

  12. Diane... I believe you're right on a lot of fronts. Certainly the image of a suave, debonair ladie's man preceeds Mr. Hefner. I guess what he did was place that image, along with nudity, and really good writers and illustrators into a hip publication that was available to the mainstream. Probably as much being in the right place at the right time as anything else, but still, there's a whole generation of men out there for whom that magazine was their primary sexual image. The fear factor is certainly true and far more complicated a subject than I can tackle.
    Not ignoring you Peach. Good comment and always love when you visit.

  13. Scarlet... Bingo! Right on the mark. Add the Hollywood family image and you've got the makings of some seriously screwed up people.

  14. He certainly did objectify women, didn't he?

    I also wanted to say thank you for reading and commenting on my guest post at JennyMac's place today. :)

  15. Did I say something I wasn't supposed to Mr. C? Just curious ... like its any of my biswhacks (which it ain't)...but was that lady's (intelliwench) date with that feller named Punch?

  16. Hahahahahaha @ Bella!

    Don't go starting any rumors. Smart-assed me wants to refer you to my post where I stated the fellow was my intellectual equal, to dispel any such notion your part, but since I don't know Punch personally (and since there are plenty of others here who take it upon themselves to abuse him), I'll refrain. Well, as much as I can, being a smartass and all...

  17. Hahahaha.. Now there's rumor worth starting! No, Bella. Go over to Intelli's site and read her post, you'll enjoy it, she's a great wit.

  18. I was not upset. Unless we're calling *that* upset now :)

  19. are a love. Thank you for your kindness. "was my intellectual equal"

    Hey wait a minute?

  20. C---I'm with Punch on this one regards waaaaaay too much publicity for this jerkwad. I mean TWO posts referring majorly to him? Albeit, negatively...but too much exposure (as it were). Seriously.

    I also liked Holte's assessment.

    Wait a minute...intell...Punch...abused? Abused? The Great Abuser Himself, abused? To whom are you referring? No, I get it, the "hair on his palms" comment. OK, nevermind.


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