Hugh Hefner Fucked Us Up redux

Intelliwench posed the question on her blog of why someone who very much wanted to meet her, has totally disappeared after the first date, which she thought went pretty well. Her readers speculated on several possible reasons; maybe there was a family emergency and he just hasn't had time to contact you; the guy's a cad, forget him, etc. I speculated that he had probably met someone else who put out on the first date, and that he was simply holding her on the back burner. People like that fancy themselves to be great lovers or "God's gift to women." It brought to mind one of my first posts, which I am re-posting, as it seems timely. Hugh Hefner Fucked Us Up This blog will endeavor to explore Sins of the flesh and soul as well as Non-sins, or the omission of sin, which in itself can still be sinful. An example of Non-sins would be reality television, something that isn't a sin in the vernacular but is certainly a sinful waste of time and space. I was trapped into watching part of some sort of a celebrity survival thing the other night that was the most shameless piece of shit I’ve ever seen on television. Worse than Judge Judy.

However today, I'm going to discuss something truly sinful. Or rather, someone, Hugh Hefner.

Somehow, in some perverted way, Hugh Hefner has made all men believe that they have to be great, not just good, but great lovers. Somehow, he persuaded us to believe that the reason we were put on earth was to bring women pleasure. And not just one, but several. The more the better. The Playboy image: suave, debonair, smoking jacket, pipe and martini was the way to go boy. You ain't nothing if you ain't that.

I know men well into their 60’s who still cling to the hallucination that some young chick simply can’t resist their suave persona. Or how about guys in their Hummers and pickups who hang balls from their trailer hitch. Redneck Hefner-ites.

To make matters worse, women too have bought into this crap. The average American woman expects, and even demands, that her male partner be devoted to her every need and whim. Add the phony baloney Hollywood image of the perfect American family (re: June Cleaver) to the mix and it’s easy to see why we Americans have the worst relationships and highest divorce rate on earth.

Anyone who’s spent any time at all in another culture knows what I’m talking about. In Europe, when you meet a woman you know right away where you stand. None of the coy games Americans seem so fond of. None of spending your life trying to make your partner fit into the Hollywood mold. None of, believing a man has to be a sexual Olympian or a woman a sensual love goddess every time they hit the sack.

I’m not saying that many people don’t find and enjoy mature, rational relationships. But I am complaining about the ration of shit we have to go through to get there. All because of totally unrealistic expectations of what "true love" is, what "cool" is, what "sexy" is, as fostered on us by Mr. Hefner.

How generations of us let our sexuality be influenced by this pathetic shyster is a mystery to me. But then, so is Judge Judy.