Over this morning's cup of coffee I realized that I had forgotten that some time ago I was given the dubious distinction of receiving some kind of award from that lovable blogosphere boob JadedJ over at A Banquet of Consequences. It appears the major consequence of visiting A Banquet of Consequences is an occasional "Oy Veh" moment and some kind of forgettable award that, according to the rules, you must pass on to some other unsuspecting innocent.
The award rules also state that you are supposed to reveal ten things about yourself that no one knows. I imagine this whole award thing is supposed to make us all a little more human and bring us all a little closer together as a blog family but so far, all I've learned from it is that Simon has a fetish for Tom Cruz bondage dolls, JadedJ fantasizes he's Elvis Presley, and Punch, lacking any imagination what-so-ever, is Priscilla Presley. (Actually, the idea that JJ and Punch are an item and once sired a child seems pretty plausible when you think about it.) As to Simon, one can only wonder.
So, in an effort to return some integrity to this award, here goes, ten things you always wondered but were afraid to ask:
1) Charleston is my real name.
2) I was drafted into the Army straight out of high school, was placed in Special Forces and trained as a forward air observer. This means that two of us were dropped behind enemy lines where we called in coordinates for artillery fire and bomb runs on the Viet Cong.
3) In this capacity, I was twice trapped behind enemy lines and engaged in close order combat.
4) I have killed eight people that I know of.
5) Upon returning home, I suffered Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and was hospitalized for over a year in the "Nervous Hospital" to borrow a term from Sling Blade.
6) It was there that I found Jesus.
7) After leaving the hospital I entered the ministry.
8) I served as a missionary in Zimbabwe for five years helping with the AIDS epidemic.
9) While in Zimbabwe I contracted AIDS and have been slowly dying from it ever since. It's one of the reasons I am so concerned about public health care.
10) Not a single word of the above is true. Had you going, didn't I?
So, there you have it. My soul laid bare. Now comes the difficult part, who to next curse with this dubious achievement? I know that Punch passed it one to MeanDonnaJean and that JJ and Simon have already caught it. I'm sure Peach has already gotten it as she has a shelf full of such things along with Enemy of the Republic and JennyMac. Walking Man tosses them off like dandruff. Hmmmm.
I think I'll pass it along to my new friend Juan Pablo over at Vida de Juan Pablo. Congratulations my friend. You're it.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
We Don't Need No Stinking Awards
Over this morning's cup of coffee I realized that I had forgotten that some time ago I was given the dubious distinction of receiving some kind of award from that lovable blogosphere boob JadedJ over at A Banquet of Consequences. It appears the major consequence of visiting A Banquet of Consequences is an occasional "Oy Veh" moment and some kind of forgettable award that, according to the rules, you must pass on to some other unsuspecting innocent.
The award rules also state that you are supposed to reveal ten things about yourself that no one knows. I imagine this whole award thing is supposed to make us all a little more human and bring us all a little closer together as a blog family but so far, all I've learned from it is that Simon has a fetish for Tom Cruz bondage dolls, JadedJ fantasizes he's Elvis Presley, and Punch, lacking any imagination what-so-ever, is Priscilla Presley. (Actually, the idea that JJ and Punch are an item and once sired a child seems pretty plausible when you think about it.) As to Simon, one can only wonder.
So, in an effort to return some integrity to this award, here goes, ten things you always wondered but were afraid to ask:
1) Charleston is my real name.
2) I was drafted into the Army straight out of high school, was placed in Special Forces and trained as a forward air observer. This means that two of us were dropped behind enemy lines where we called in coordinates for artillery fire and bomb runs on the Viet Cong.
3) In this capacity, I was twice trapped behind enemy lines and engaged in close order combat.
4) I have killed eight people that I know of.
5) Upon returning home, I suffered Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and was hospitalized for over a year in the "Nervous Hospital" to borrow a term from Sling Blade.
6) It was there that I found Jesus.
7) After leaving the hospital I entered the ministry.
8) I served as a missionary in Zimbabwe for five years helping with the AIDS epidemic.
9) While in Zimbabwe I contracted AIDS and have been slowly dying from it ever since. It's one of the reasons I am so concerned about public health care.
10) Not a single word of the above is true. Had you going, didn't I?
So, there you have it. My soul laid bare. Now comes the difficult part, who to next curse with this dubious achievement? I know that Punch passed it one to MeanDonnaJean and that JJ and Simon have already caught it. I'm sure Peach has already gotten it as she has a shelf full of such things along with Enemy of the Republic and JennyMac. Walking Man tosses them off like dandruff. Hmmmm.
I think I'll pass it along to my new friend Juan Pablo over at Vida de Juan Pablo. Congratulations my friend. You're it.
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You had me until the Jesus revelation. (though the nervous hospital stay was a bit over-done)
ReplyDeleteI kinda thought at your Aids comment that perhaps it wasn't true but I can be so gulliable at times! So I continued reading and thought my goodness you experienced so much & then at #10 saw you fibbed - laughing out loud!
ReplyDeleteBarbara... I should have given the thing to you! In fact, is it too late?
ReplyDeleteChristina... I'm not as good a fibber as Simon. He's a master. Check out his site if you haven't been there. Good to hear from you.
I knew at number two that this was total bullshit. Now if you had said, right out of high school that you went to North Vietnam and volunteer to filter down south to fight with Charlie, and that is the origin of the Charles(ton) thing, and that you were turned down because you were too tall and they had no black pajamas to fit...might have bought that.
ReplyDeleteJuan Pablo...run away...run away (I've had an opportunity to use that twice today...I love it).
Mr. C...go away...go away.
I actually never have gotten it. Nor do I want it!
ReplyDeleteI was believing every word you wrote!
EoR, you know you said the wrong thing to the wrong guy (C), don't you? He'll tag you.
ReplyDeleteDang, that was a good story JJ. I wish I had thought of that!
ReplyDeleteIs it permissible to bestow this high honor on more than one? I haven't heard from Juan Pablo and EOR sounds like she would like to have one... boy, I'll bet you can tell some stories Enemy of the State!
C, when one is the center of the universe, all things are possible. Bestow it on as many as you have time to waste bestowing.
ReplyDeleteOmg, thank you so much!!
ReplyDeleteI don't know what to say!
Well, thank you very much my friend, I greatly appreciate this! :D
Your blog is amazing as well, keep up the good writing! It's an honor to appear on your blog :)
Oh and it DOES lift my spirits! Haha
ReplyDeleteGod I'm a rube! I was buyin' it lock and stock till the Aids thing. You are a silly pants! Please say "silly pants" with a lisp. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteNope not going to play liars poker with Mr. C.
ReplyDeleteBeing a terrible one for reading things too quickly, and perhaps because it followed the finding Jesus one, I saw 7) as:
ReplyDeleteAfter leaving the hospital I entered a nunnery.