Saturday, August 15, 2009

I WON THE LOTTERY!!!

Well… not yet, but just you wait and see. Tonight’s the night! Finally, all those lottery dreams will come true. Will it be Porsche or Ferrari? Maybe both! Gotta give some to my family, and a few friends, and charities, and… my mom’s church, and put some away for the grandkids… Oh man, what I could do to the house… or maybe a whole new house, in the mountains. Of course, I can get to all that right after touring Europe. Might catch a few F1 races while there. I’ve always wanted to go to Budapest. Hell, I could even invite Punch and JJ to go with me, and Peach and Walking Man. All my friends!

The reason for this optimism? I have finally found my lucky numbers.

For years I’ve been looking for my lucky numbers. I’ve thought about what numbers play an important part in your life… your birth date… that’s three down, three to go. Lucky 16. That was the number of my childhood racing hero, David Ezell, at the local dirt track. Four down… The Tarot gave me one more… then there’s my wedding day... which one, and how lucky were they, really? Maybe divorce day? Kids birthdays? My fortune cookie. Shit, it gets so confusing.

But thanks to www.formalogy.com, the wait is over, and I get to share it with you! How can you pass this up?

“We have combined ancient numerology wisdom with modern logistical intelligence to calculate and generate individual numbers based on your first name, date of birth and specifics of the event. To cover all possibilities and variations, we came up with four different ways to help you find what you want. The universal algorithm for Lottery Numbers will generate your personal “winning” numbers for most common lottery types.”

Christ! They even have a lucky joke: “Stew: Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher they fired last week? Lou: No, tell me. Stew: She couldn’t control her pupils!”

How lucky can you get? And it's free.

My lucky numbers for tonight’s lotto… 25 31 33 36 44 46. But wait a minute. Did I enter the right lotto date? Crap, I’ll have to do it again. This time I’m sure everything is right. My lucky numbers… 22 23 27 29 30 42!! How can that be? There must be some fuck up. I’ll try it again… 8 17 24 35 43 45! Dang, do my lucky numbers change by the minute? Am I going to have to take my laptop down to the Jiffy Mart, login, get my lucky numbers and buy my ticket the instant before the drawing?

I’m not taking any chances, I’m going to play all three numbers. What the hell, I may be unemployed and all, but I can blow 3 bucks. After all, it isn’t gambling, it’s an investment in my family’s future.

Watch for me on the news.

18 comments:

  1. 08 22 25 33 35 46


    25 31 33 36 44 46
    22 23 27 29 30 42
    8 17 24 35 43 45



    Not bad you won
    $10 bucks on the first line
    $0 on the second
    $0 on the third

    but you increased your wealth by 200%

    If you went to GA to buy the the mega millions ticket.

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  2. After an initial burst of excitement... I won 10 bucks! Not to be, Walking Man. I think the winning numbers you have are from last Wednesday. Last night, sigh, the winning numbers were: 18 19 20 41 50 51. My stinking "lucky numbers" didn't win me anything. In fact, out of my three lucky number groups, not one frigging number was in the winning number!

    Crap! How am I going to answer for squandering $3 that should have gone for life essentials?

    Oh well, at least I'll live to blog another day... maybe.

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  3. Rats...I was hoping for great big news this am.

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  4. As I lay on the couch last evening, praying for god to show me a sign, like 5 numbers written across the wall, she chose to write 'fuck it'. So I stayed home and won 3 dollars. God Loves me, but she don't seem to like you. Maybe I'll promise to give a million bucks to Oral Roberts. Yeah that's the ticket.

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  5. That's what I meant about going to Georgia to buy the ticket, the multi-state mega millions is up to something like 175 million and those were Friday's numbers so you still woulda been a day late and three bucks short on Sunday bwahahahaha

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  6. What I want to know is, who the hell would name their kid Oral? Dumb shits. Might as well called him, Anal. Yeah, Anal Roberts.

    Sorry.

    My favorite lottery story, and it IS true, is the guy who won 10 million in Jersey, moved to Florida, and 5 years later won 20 million in Florida. His comment..."it's about time, I was running out of money." Basically, I wanted to find that fucker, put his feet in two 5 gallon pails filled with wet cement, and drop his ass in the Gulf of Mexico.

    C, you just aren't holding your mouth right when you fill out the form. You have to squench to the right or left, depending on your politics...and it DOES matter, while doing a clicking sound against your teeth with your tongue...if it's Saturday. If it's Friday, grab your crotch, cross your eyes, and spit over your left shoulder...AFTER...and this is important...AFTER the chicken's body comes to a full stop. Then fill out the form.

    Let us know when we can make the travel arrangements.

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  7. The Chicken I forgot about the Chicken.

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  8. See, it's that stuff you forget about that always gets you. The damned chicken. I did all the other stuff. Darned near got me thrown out of Publix and that's no small thing having been banned from Winn Dixie after following Peach's swing low and yazzin advice. I could run out of grocery stores.
    Punch and JJ seem to have some kind of oral fixation today so I'll just leave the rest alone and move on.

    Drats, WM... I think Florida has a Powerball lottery of some sort too. Now that puts a whole new spin on it. Seven numbers. Hummm. Seven is certainly a more mystic number.

    JennyMac.. thanks for the sympathy. I don't believe I have ever gotten a lottery ticket with more than two of the numbers in the winning combination on it. So, I am hardened to failure, in-so-far as the lottery goes.

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  9. I am so honored to be invited to go to Europe with you, JJ, Punch and the Walking Man. We'd probably need to have a lawyer on retainer. Count me in on the F1 races. I went to the race in Monte Carlo about 8 years ago and had a blast.

    Now Mr. Charleston it seems like you are never going to let me live down the fact that you got your ass arrested and banned from the Winn Dixie.

    I guess you weren't hanging low at the Publix when you got your lottery ticket so it seems like you've learned your lesson about going out like that in public.

    I played the Mega Millions here on Friday night. As the walking man mentioned the jackpot was $175,000. I didn't hit a single damn number.

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  10. Well Peach, as you can see, it looks like the best I can do for you guys is a spin around the river in a Jon Boat. I'm not hanging low much these days, too damed depressed, not one friggin number out of 12! Punch is right, God doesn't love me.

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  11. Punch now don't be a hater. You know that God loves Mr. Charleston. How could he not?

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  12. C, God may not, but your dog does. BTW, what's the dog's birth date?

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  13. My dog was run over and killed, JJ. Does that tell you something? Fuck the lottery.

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  14. After reading my response to JJ regarding my dog and the lottery, I realize it sounds pretty harsh and bitter. It wasn't meant to be. Sorry JJ. One of those things you do before thinking it through.

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  15. No apology needed C. Natural reaction.

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  16. I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.


    Margaret

    http://lotterymegamillions.net

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  17. Thanks for stopping by. My luck hasn't changed. Still can't get more that two numbers on any lotto I play.

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  18. Yup, I use Formalogy.com for several months now, and my Lucky Numbers never fail me. I don't know how it can be, but I do know those aren't random numbers. And just yesterday I discovered Formalogy app for the iPhone -- yeah! Needless to say I downloaded it and now have my numbers with me at all times. Life is getting better and better.

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