2nd Annual Worst and Best Driver Awards

"People leave their manners at home when they get behind the wheel"... my Mom.

Last year I published a list of the best and worst drivers in Baja Georgia and it caused such a ruckus I've decided to do it again.  Nothing scientific about these rankings, they're just observations from my experiences in traffic here in Baja, Georgia colored by my own prejudice and bigotry and so, as such, there is no margin of error in these rankings, they are the 100% accurate opinions of a single observer, me.  Of course, there are exceptions to every rule but for the most part, the rankings below are spot-on accurate.

Now, I could also talk about the drivers in South Florida where I journey occasionally, but down there they've got this weird species known as Snow Birds who completely skew the bell curve so I'm just gonna leave it alone.   And then, I also spend some time in North Carolina, but my impressions there are so favorable that I suspect that to them, I'm the Snow Bird and that their courtesy is driven by them just trying to get the hell out of my way.  So, I'm going to stick to what I know, Baja Georgia, for these rankings but I would be anxious to hear your thoughts regarding the drivers in your area of domicile.

At any rate, here they are:   The Worst & Best Driver Awards 2012.

6.  Most Worst Discourteous Drivers - Black Women

Black women of all ages.  Need a break in traffic?  Forget it.  Need for them to close up the eight car spaces between them and the car ahead so that you can pull around them to make a turn?  Forget it.  Black women won't give you a second thought, regardless of your color or sex.  And it's deliberate.  It isn't that they don't notice you, they do, but in this Age of Entitlement they are just flat obstinate.

I suppose they are entitled to a little anger in-so-far-as most of them have been abandoned by their men to raise their brood by themselves and they work their asses off to still live in near poverty, but that doesn't give them the right to take it out on everyone else.  As courteous drivers go, black women suck.

5.  Next Most Worst Discourteous Drivers - Youth

Youth of all colors and creed.  Most likely to cut you off.  Most likely to flip you off.  Most likely to deafen you with that noise they call music.  Most likely to sit through half a light while fucking with their cell phones.  Snotty little assholes.

4.  Next Most Worst Discourteous Drivers -  Anyone who drives an expensive German car.

The last to give you a break but the first to get out of your way if you show any aggressive driving behavior at all.  Don't want to scratch their precious metal in a collision with the hoy poloi I suppose.

3.  Happy Median Sometimes Yes, Sometimes No, Drivers -  Everyone Else.

2.  Next to Best Most Courteous Drivers - Older White Women

Older white women are usually just cruising through life not wishing anyone any harm and are pretty much oblivious to the world around them, but should through some strange happenstance they actually notice that you need some room, they are happy to extend the courtesy.  Usually accompanied by a nice smile.  Then they simply go about doing whatever it is they where doing while causing a collision between two other drivers who are trying to avoid them as they casually make a left turn from the far right lane at the next light. 

1.  The Best Most Courteous Drivers -  Good Old Boys In Pickups

Doesn't matter color or creed, good old boys in pickup trucks are by far the most likely to extend courtesy in traffic, by far the most likely to stop and help out when you have car trouble.  And the best part, they give you a friendly wave while doing it.

I can't figure out how it is that they are so considerate of other people in traffic while at the same time being pro-war, pro-guns, pro-death penalty, pro-fuck the poor, anti-gay, anti-art, anti-environment, anti-anything that can be even remotely considered anti-American, especially them foreign Ragheads.  But that's the way it is.


It's a strange, strange world in which we live.